Thursday, September 6, 2007

How to have sex like a man!!!

My best guy friend ,Jared, wife left him in April. She left him for another man she had met on the Internet while he was teaching at the local university. Five months later he is still trying to pick up the pieces and figure out what he should do next. His wife was the only woman he had ever been with and in turn he was the only man she had been with. (until online douche bag.) They had been together since high school and when they got married it seemed like a fairy tail ending.

Being the one of all our friends who have gone through the most breakups not to met ion a divorce. Jared has turned to me for help "starting over".If there is such a thing. What I have learned is that either guys are more like us then I originally though or Jared is one of those few sensitive men that us women can relate to.Recently going through a breakup myself after countless nights of watching "Sex and the City" drinking a bottle of red wine I decide that we needed to make our lives a little more like Samantha a little less like well us.

The following Saturday night I drug Jared kicking and screaming to a local watering hole. I told him that he had to at least talk to one girl and he got double points if he bought them a drink. As I paroled the scene finding more and more prospects the more I drank, Jared sat and waited for me to come back. This is probably what happened in his marriage.

The next day at breakfast frustrated with the failure of my protege I asked what happened. "I just want the next girl I sleep with to be so hot that it makes Joy Jealous" Jared said. I replied "isn't the point of a rebound to get over your last relationship and to not care what the last person in your relationship thinks?" All in all I made my point but as for all maters of the heart it is easier said than done. Two weeks later the only woman that Jared has talked to besides me and his mom is now the object of his affection and he thinks that she might be the one. Three weeks later she is not returning his phone call es and Jared is wondering once again what happened.

Again at breakfast again frustrated with my protege after listening to his woes I blurted out you need to start having sex like a man! Instantly Jared replied "what does that mean? Last for 3 min roal over and go to sleep?" No that is not exactly what I meant nobody likes that.

But what did I mean? I have heard this term before and never really had applied to my life either. Quickly what I explained (pulling it out of my ass) I said " No it means take the power back in your relationships. Do not rely on just one person making you happy and finding that one person making you happy.

In every relationship that I have actually like the person I put their needs before mine. I think that basically most people are attracted to slightly selfish people. So what I am going to do and what I told Jared to do is next time you really like someone pretend to be slightly selfish. Don't be an asshole just make shure your needs are number one. This seems like a good plan to get them met. We will see. let me know if your experiences. If this is tried and true or just a stupid theory?


FeelingFlirty said...

I love your blog! I disagree with one point you made, however. The woman he met on the might not have been an online douche bag at all. We don't know what Jared told this person.

I've been in the online dating business a long long time and I'm shocked at what some married men will say about their relationships. They feel lonely, unloved and unwanted and will say pretty much anything for a bit of intimacy and sexual titillation.

Good luck to Jared!

Rolando said...

I'm not sure if playing the selfish card will help. Is there something else that he needs to do.

What is his body language like while sitting at the bar? Does it say 'stay away' but talk to me.

Is he confident in himself and does it show. Does he have something else other than looks like a sense of humor or intelligence.

I think girls like guys who can make them laugh. It's not how I got my wife, but it sure helps.

Danny Vice said...

oh, there's no doubt about it... a tiny bit of 'unattainability' and a lot of humor goes a long way in developing intrigue....

And intrigue ALMOST always keeps the conversation going...

Perhaps Jared should try something like this with his next interest...

"I've had something I've been wanting to tell you all day.... but I know it probably sounds corny... perhaps in a few days I might share..."

If the girl likes Jared, he's almost assured she will not sleep until she knows what tidbit she's missing out on.

Women LOVE to know everything in a potential new romance...

It may be a bit of a tease.... but, a little mystery goes a long way...

Danny Vice

BillyWarhol said...

Seems like a Dream at this Point in Life*

;)) Peace*